(Klima) Starting line-up or substitutes’ bench? This calls for tactical thinking – it’s not just a run-of-the-mill match

📺⚽ WORLD CUP LIVE SPECIAL: Public Viewing Deluxe – Things are heating up off-screen!

⚫ 🟥 Offside trap for standard enquiries
If, as a first point of contact, you just send over a tired ‘Hi, I saw this advert’ or simply haven’t read my advert, you’ll immediately find yourself in the red zone. That’s only good enough for the ball boy on the sidelines – people might see you, but nobody really takes you seriously.

I’m not looking for spectators, but for men who can read the game. Anyone who wants my attention needs to bring style, humour and tactics to the table.



⚫ 🏃‍♀️ The Coach & Tactics

🌡️ SUMMER TACTICS:
No training due to the heat? Not on my watch!
Is the tarmac melting outside? In my arena, you’ll keep a cool head whilst the air conditioning runs at full blast. ⚽

Behind the dugout stands an independent, sporty, well-groomed German woman over 40, 160 cm, 46 kg, with green eyes, a cheeky dark short hairstyle and a direct, no-nonsense manner.

🇨🇭 Neutral as Switzerland: I’ll coach any German-speaking player as long as the tactics and respect are right.

My philosophy: I put together the World Cup starting XI – sometimes playful, sometimes demanding, and sometimes dangerously slow. The best matches come about through tactics, ball control and the right timing – not through frantic, attacking football without a plan.

Stadium rule: Mobile phones stay in the changing room. No photos or autographs for you beforehand. If you want to be in the team, you’ll get a proper game.



⚫ ⏱️ Match times & sessions (prices in CHF)
Stadium admission: Pay in cash before kick-off.

20 mins – Warm-up session – 150
40 mins – Trial session – 200
60 mins – Extra time – 250
90 mins – World Cup standard – 400 (Includes: see match highlights)
120 mins – Final – 500 (Includes: see above)



⚫🇨🇭🇩🇪🇫🇷🇦🇹 WORLD CUP LIVE SPECIAL: Public Viewing Deluxe 🇪🇸🇵🇹🇧🇷🇦🇷

(Only during the World Cup and only from Mon to Thu for every LIVE match!)
90 mins + added time – 450 (Stadium doors open 15 mins before kick-off)

Don’t want to watch your team’s match on your own? I’ll provide you with access to the VIP lounge, including snacks and beer or prosecco. We’ll watch the match live on the screen. You can relax and enjoy the game – and I’ll make sure there’s no chance of boredom, even away from the screen.



⚫ 🏆 VIP Premium Camps: For the elite only
(Exclusive weekend specials from 3.00 pm on Fridays – also bookable during the week!)

3 hours – Luxury training camp – 750
No rushing things – here, we’ll push you to your full potential.

5 hours – Dinner Camp (Fair play on the outside, excitement on the inside) – 1,000
First, a tactical briefing over dinner at a restaurant, followed by the absolute highlight of the evening. Perfect for connoisseurs.

12 hours – Elite Overnight Camp – 1’600
The ultimate final match, including an overnight stay. Anyone who checks in here is guaranteed the trophy and the coach’s undivided attention.



⚫ 🛠️ The Match Highlights (Extras)
(For bookings under 90 mins, +50 CHF each / Fully included from 90 mins)

Lawn mowing in the Silberwald (intimate shave)
Tingling changing room shower
Attack down the wing (strap-on / anal massage)
Foot special: ball control from the sole to the tips of your toes

Always included (with every booking of 60 mins or more)
Physio session: Body-to-body – it’ll even make the ref weak at the knees.
Orgasm control: Edging on my command – I call the final whistle.
Facesitting: The league’s most delightful ‘mask requirement’. Breathe at your own risk.
Any special tactical requests? These are charged separately (+/- 100).



⚫ 🛑 Game Abort & Taboos (The Rules)

No finishing in my mouth. And even if you’ve got two balls in play: there’ll be no counter-attack into my goal! (The back is only to be pampered, not played with). No caviar. The game is played according to Swiss fair play rules.



⚫ 🏟️ The Arena

Private & discreet in Oerlikon (air-conditioned, parking available).
Kick-off: Mon–Thu: 10:00–22:00 | Fri: 10:00–14:00

Weekend Special: From 3.00 pm on Fridays, as well as on Saturdays, Sundays and public holidays, the venue is reserved exclusively for VIP dates (3 hours of luxury / dinner / overnight stay) – there’s no warm-up or trial session here, just the title fight. Please book well in advance.



⚫ ⏱️ Coach’s availability:

I’m focused on the court and not on my mobile 24/7. After 10.00 pm and at weekends, my mobile is in power-saving mode. There’s no live updates and no replies every minute. If I don’t reply straight away, I’m either on the pitch or enjoying a well-deserved evening off. A good player brings patience and a strong nerve to the table.



⚫ 📝 Application

Want to be team captain? Then send your application in good time via WhatsApp or text message. Feel free to tell me what drives you. 😉


⚫ ⚽ Anyone who wants to make the starting eleven needs to show style, humour and personality – the rest can keep practising the right moves at training camp. 🏆